Update

I realize it's been a while since I've posted anything so I just wanted to let everyone in on what's going on. I just needed some time to get over the disappointment and get away from things. First and foremost, I just have to say how blessed I am. It's rough times like these when you really lean on people and faith to give you strength....and I have pillars!! Thank you for the emails, texts, flowers (they were beautiful, Erin!), and things to help me smile through the rain (You're the sweetest thing, Kas!). This was a very disappointing time in our lives and you all made us feel a little better. It may sound weird to someone who's never had infertility issues, but every month, we're mourning the loss of a child. It's just devastating. Right now, we've taken a break from the doctor. Mostly because we can't afford to do another treatment right now. I did have some FSH injections left and they only last for 3 months. So, rather than waste $500 worth of drugs, we didn't see the harm in taking the last 300IU (I'd been taking 500IU). I still have some ovulation predictor tests left (I should have purchased stock in First Response with the amount of money I've spent on those predictor kits!) so we're gonna give it the college try again! Sorry...I know that's way too much information. We're just trying to listen to God and see what He wants us to do next. We've been talking about adoption, but there's another extremely expensive process. And I don't know if I'm ready to give up on the idea of having our own child. I know there are thousands of children that are in desperate need of loving homes, but the amount of money we would spend on adoption we could have done the most expensive infertility treatment......3 times!!! I'm just going to have to practice more patience and keep my thoughts quite so I can hear what God wants us to do. The hardest part is not having any control over the situation. You think that you have control over your life and what happens to you (you know the quote: 'You are in control of your own destiny'), but I've learned over the past 4 years that your plan quickly becomes someone Else's! You can want something so bad your heart aches, but that's not going to make it happen. So, thank you for all the prayers and positive thoughts, please keep thinking of us as we continue this journey. Love you all!!